All The Divas To The Dancefloor!

Kelly Rowland is best known for being a backup singer in Beyonce and the Pussycats before Beyonce said 'fuck this shit and these latch on bitches, I'm gonna go blossom on my own cause I'm a goddess' and left her and that other chick scrambling for careers because their dad wasn't the manager while she went on to make millions with brainless songs I used to dance to in the clubs when I was high.  With the exception of 'When Love Takes Over' (which I can hear in my head right now just by typing the title), Kelly hasn't had much success on the music charts, which makes her the perfect person to sit on the judge's panel of The X-Factor, Fox's Family Dollar version of American Idol.  Let's face it, if anyone knows how to sit on the sidelines and help someone else get famous, it's Kelly Rowland.  She's the best part of the shitty show, giving me a weekly dose of beautiful face and House of Dereon style while I endure two hours of bad karaoke because I love my boyfriend and it's his favorite show.

Speaking of The X-Factor, British X-Factor winner Leona Lewis is in town to promote her new Christmas CD (which is what lazy people do instead of coming up with new music of their own) and help light the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree.  You remember 'Bleeding Love', Leona's one big hit about rough sex and vaginal tearing, with it's insufferable chorus 'keep bleeding, I keep keep bleeding' that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the night even if you're forced to watch The X-Factor like me, and you can thank me now for the early Christmas present of that song on infinite loop in your brain.  Happy Holidays!

But wait!  There's more!  Original diva Gloria Gaynor (I KNOW!) is also in town, and was at the Today Show this morning promoting something that wasn't 'I Will Survive', although they still made her perform the song so that every overweight, undersexed, elderly lady on the plaza could sing along to the biggest gay anthem in the history of music ever.  Every time I hear the song it bends me over the table and fucks me in the ass.  It's THAT gay!