Crazy, Sexy, Uncool

Full disclosure: sometimes I take my cellphone into the bathroom with me to catch up on the news or gossip while I'm in the crapper.  Yesterday was one of those days, and it's a good thing I did, because a tweet from the Howard Stern show let me know Mike Tyson was in the studio promoting his one man show 'Mike Tyson's Undisputed Truth'.  Can you even imagine what a mess that is?!  I managed to catch him leaving Sirius, where he stopped to sign a few autographs for the graphers that were hanging around outside.  I asked if he could look up while he was signing and he actually turned, and in that stupid burnt tongue lisp that he has, answered 'Yeth, I can do that' as if I was asking him if HE WAS ABLE to actually turn his head rather than if he WOULD turn his head.  Oh Mike, you're the gift that keeps on giving, and I thank you for being able to turn your head to the side for me.  A couple observations: that tattoo is pretty damn awesome, even if it barely showed up in the picture, and he's not as big as I thought he'd be.  I guess all that pigeon racing and ear biting has kept him from hitting the gym.

 Then it was off to The Today Show to see Darren Criss from Glee.  He's the cute one with the talent, and the only reason I tuned into season two, which got way too precious and afterschool special for my tastes.  The show jumped the shark with all those pointless celebrity guest stars, and I jumped to American Horror Story, which is Ryan Murphy redeeming himself for the tooth decay a generation of teenage girls and gays got from Glee.  And just as you'd expect, Darren was mobbed by the Benzoly Peroxide crowd on the way out of the studio.  He was nice enough to pose for pictures and sign a few autographs, and in spite of those Count Chocula eyebrows he is kinda cute in person.

Some lady named Lauren Graham was at Sirius too.  She was on Gilmore Girls and is now on some other show I don't watch, and was promoting something I don't know or care about at Sirius.  She came out of the building and was immediately surrounded by graphers and paparazzi.  Scared and unable to find her SUV (someone's getting fired over that one), she and her publicist headed back into the lobby, where they tried to hide behind an American flag, although the lobby is all glass and we could clearly see her waiting for the SUV.  When the car pulled from 50th street and around the corner to 49th, everyone traipsed through the building, RIGHT IN FRONT OF LAUREN GRAHAM, and over to the 49th street exit.  Like literally right past her and the flag.  And she didn't really have a choice when the SUV pulled up but to leave out the 49th street exit, right through the crowd she was trying to avoid.  Sorry honey, but you're no Mike Tyson, and you should be happy someone is bothering to take your picture.