Dancing With The Who?

Dancing With The Stars announced their new cast yesterday, and apparently we've finally run out of stars and moved on to star-adjacent because good God what a mess it is!  I know my brain is the wikipedia of a lot of useless shit - like, I could name every character that ever appeared on Dynasty and tell you who they were related to, slept with or fucked over -  but I don't know who the fuck half these 'stars' are!  There's some chick from YouTube, a NASCAR guy, your third grade teacher, the understudy for Elphaba in the touring company of Wicked and the lady eating McDonald's french fries and talking to herself on the F train home tonight, but WHERE ARE THE STARS?

I shot a few people I recognized, including Lea Thompson (making the worst career move since Howard the Duck),

my cousin Antonio (our great grandfathers were brothers according to family legend)

my friend Cindy's friend Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls

and Alfonso Ribiero, who is going to bust out the Carlton Dance all the way to the mirror ball trophy while Aunt Viv #1 does a dramatic reading of one of her rants against Will Smith.