I Got A Bargain!

It should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone that Donald Trump and I have very little in common.  While we've both lived in Washington DC and New York City, have challenges with our hair, and enjoy a spray tan every now and then (to different degrees of success), when it comes to things like honesty, integrity, compassion, empathy, morals, and the ability to read a weather map we are WORLDS apart.  Tonight, I added one more similarity to the list, because I just spent the last two uncomfortable hours in a room full of badly tattooed, oddly pierced, esteem damaged porn stars, strippers, pole dancers and webcam performers, including one naked midget (she calls herself that, so I'm not being un-P.C.) that I can NEVER unsee at the EXXXOTICA convention in Miami, all for a picture and an autograph from Stormy Daniels. 

And I paid A HELL OF A LOT LESS than Trump did.

I'll Always Love You, But Not Like Him!

Aside from zero privacy and having every move documented by paparazzi and anyone with a cellphone these days, one of the ugly realities of celebrity life is that there are "fans" out there with only the slightest grip on reality.  And Taylor Dayne might want to watch the windows and pace the property line at her house, because she came face to face with hers last night.  It wasn't me.

Before her concert at the Miramar Cultural Center (There's culture in Miramar apparently.  Who knew?), Taylor did a meet and greet with fans, which is really just another way of gouging a few extra coins out of anyone willing or desperate enough to shell them out.  Turns out her "biggest fan" is a roller skating coach named Jay, who had a tattoo of her face on his chest, her name shaved into his hair, and nearly lost his shit when the managers almost didn't let his $50 five foot tall Publix balloon/flower arrangemess into the venue because of something to do with the air conditioning.  Thankfully, his adult diaper wearing wife was there to calm him down, even though they had to settle for seats in the back of the venue because they couldn't get four together in the front row.  (Don't ask me why I know all this.)  Suddenly the small stain on my pants that was making me neurotic all day seemed insignificant.