Itchy Gitchi Yaya

Sweet potato pie gives me the shits, so I had no idea that Patti LaBelle's face is on boxes of pies that sell for $3.48 at Wal-Mart until some queen's YouTube review went viral this week, and now Patti LaBelle sweet potato pies are all the rage this holiday season.  I know Miss Patti is a good cook (I don't REALLY know since she's never cooked for me, but it's one of those things you just accept like 'The sky is blue' or 'Don't eat corn if you're a bottom'), but folks are losing their minds over this pie - its selling for $60 on ebay and flying out of stores like some kinda Black Friday midnight madness doorbuster shit while Miss Patti adjusts her wig and "Thank You Baby"s all the way to the bank. 


Here's the original drag queen in NYC yesterday reminding us all that our Thanksgiving table will be naked without her pie, and then the terrorists have won.

Who Shot Annalise Keating?

Damned if I know, but I sure as hell didn't, though not for lack of trying.  Viola Davis and the cast were in town last week to promote the midseason finale (tonight at 10 on ABC), and girlfriend couldn't stop moving, clapping and turning her head at Good Morning America, which would explain why there's not one clear shot of her looking in my direction dammit!

At the Paley Center for Media later that night she rushed through the gauntlet of fans waiting with a giant bouquet of flowers in her face like she just stole a funeral arrangement.  Again, no clear photo, though I did manage a photo with Liza Weil, who was incredibly nice despite the sociopathic, uptight doormat bitch in pearls she plays on TV.

But let's talk about the men, because if you think the men on this show are hot I can confirm they're even better in person.  Resident scruffy bad guy Charlie Weber is smoldering, even in a pair of jeans and hoodie,

and Billy Brown is a chiseled chocolate He-Man masterpiece.  Godiva ain't got shit on this man!

I'll Have What She's Having - The Christie Brinkley Edition

Christie Brinkley must be sipping from the fountain of youth or something, because at 61 years old she looks better than women half her age.  (I'm talking to you Kate Upton!).  Either that or she has much better luck picking surgeons than she does husbands.  Capitalizing on her looks, Christie made the talk show rounds promoting Timeless Beauty, her instruction manual for looking and feeling your best at any age.  If you follow her regiment you probably won’t look like this…but you can pretend, or she can pretend, because why not make the money on this freakish condition she has called winning the genetic lottery?

The Ice Queen

Cate Blanchett is an absolutely ethereal woman who pretty much nails every red carpet she steps onto with her fearless sense of style and connections to the right designers willing to loan her $15,000 dresses if she'll talk about them.  I've always wanted to photograph her but she detests selfies, rarely poses for photos with fans and seldom signs autographs because she's played the Queen so damn many times it's gone to her head or something so I had to settle for this through-the-window shot at Good Morning America this morning and button my jacket tight for the icy chill she threw ignoring everyone when she left. 

The Royals Take Manhattan

The cast of The Royals were in town this week to promote the season two premiere (tonight at 10 on E!) in the unlikely event you missed the billboards in Times Square, ads on every bus and cab in the city, nonstop commercials on E!, Bravo and MTV or the popup ads in your Facebook feed and weren't aware the show was back again, and damned if they're not the nicest, most attractive cast on TV right now!  In addition to being the most glamorous billionaire dick rider on the ho stroll Elizabeth Hurley may also be the nicest, taking time to sign autographs and pose for photos all over town while professing to be 'in a hurry,' 'late,' or whatever other bullshit excuse her publicist could come up with to hurry her inside and avoid the riff raff on the streets. 

Alexandra Park looked absolutely flawless and has incredible taste in shoes, which you can't really see from this photo but trust me on this,

and the men on the show.....well......see for yourself.  #hotties

Tootie, Is It That Bad?

By now you've probably heard that Kim Fields joined the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and we're both scratching our heads trying to understand why considering The Facts of Life still airs in syndication and the checks are probably still coming in.  Maybe she's bored?  Maybe the Tootie money ain't what it used to be?  Or maybe they needed another big tittied Kim in Atlanta?

Meet Terry Richardson, The World's Most Fucked Up Fashion Photographer

Terry Richardson is a brilliant fashion photographer who has shot advertising campaigns for Marc Jacobs, Tom Ford, Yves Saint Laurent, Sisley and Supreme among others.  His work has appeared in Rolling Stone, GQ, Vogue, Vanity Fair and Harper's Bazaar, and he's shot everyone from Beyoncé and Miley to Lady Gaga and Barack Obama. 


He's also been accused of some super shady casting couch shit involving naked models and cum facials, so I was half expecting Chris Hansen and the To Catch a Predator camera crew to pop out from behind the non-fiction section and cuff him before I could get this photo.