And The Winner Is......

One of my favorite pastimes is watching beauty queens crack under pressure.  There's something incredibly satisfying about watching a girl who's spent her entire life trading on her beauty find herself in the Miss Universe pageant top five, so close to making her dreams come true that she can taste the victory on her lips, only to give a moronic answer to a stupid question or struggle to put one foot in front of the other and end up on her ass.  So of course I watched all three hours of the hairspray and Vaseline teeth mess on Sunday night, only to see Miss Colombia Paulina Vega snatch the crown away from its rightful owner Miss Jamaica at the last possible second while her mother was back home making tortillas for the village.