Louie! Louie!

All these years I've been working out, eating healthy(ish) and watching my weight.  I've done step classes and yoga, worked out twice a day, hired trainers and nutritionists, taken supplements, gotten colonics, and tried Atkins, the South Beach Diet and Weight Watchers in my neverending quest to get and stay as thin as possible.  I'm a fucking mess.  Who knew all it would take was a picture with Louie Anderson to make me look thin?

All You Have To Do Is Dream

About a week ago I told you guys how excited I was to meet Loretta Devine, who originated the role of Lorell Robinson in the Broadway musical Dreamgirls, and how, after all these years of being a fan, I'd been lucky enough to meet all three original Dreamgirls, which is really only cool if you're a theatre fag like me.  Well in a weird gay twist of fate that could only happen to me (seriously, only to me), yesterday I met Anika Noni Rose, who played Lorell in the movie version of Dreamgirls with Beyoncé.


So, let me see here....Loretta Devine, check!  Jennifer Holliday, check!  Sheryl Lee Ralph, check!  Anika Noni Rose, check!  Jennifer Hudson, check!  Beyoncé, ......... Beyoncé, .........

And The Winner Is.....

One of these guys is the winner of America's Next Top Model season 22, and the other has been obsessed with models since he was 15.   


One won Dancing with the Stars last night, and the other had a hard time getting out of bed this morning and has been hobbling around on one good foot since Thanksgiving.


One of these guys is a double winner, and the other tried to airbrush his double chin out of this picture.


Can you guess which is which?

Note: just after this photo was taken I was rushed to the hospital and hooked up to an IV drip full of fluids after I jizzed out all the liquids in my body.  He really is that hot!

Get Real (O'Neals)!

Coming out is a challenging, anxiety-inducing process, and something you may have to do repeatedly - to family, to friends and coworkers.  It's not as if you can say it once and all the important people in your life suddenly know you're gay, unless you're Ellen DeGeneres on the cover of Time magazine circa 1997.  But you're not.  And you never know how people are going to react, which only adds to the anxiety and neurosis. 


It's this premise that makes The Real O'Neals one of this season's breakthrough comedies.  In the hands of hysterically theatrical Noah Galvin as Kenny and Martha Plimpton as his manic, church loving mother Eileen, the story of a teenage boy coming out to his Irish Catholic family and his continuing struggle to find his place in the world is one of the wittiest shows on TV right now, serving important life lessons with comedy and heart.  If this show isn't already on your radar, it should be.  Seriously, catch up with On Demand, add it to your Tuesday nights, or at least your DVRs.

The End of the Empire

Jammed with corporate intrigue, unnecessary celebrity cameos (Ludacris, Becky G, Chris Rock) and dropped story lines, the wildly uneven second season of Empire careens to a close tonight, and I've got a few nagging questions that need resolution before I feel a sense of closure.  If that bullet doesn't kill Jamal, will it at least stop that shitty whisper singing?  What the hell does Hakeem see in that Latina Destiny's Child chick when he was fucking Naomi Campbell?  Now that she's got good hair, where IS Becky's boyfriend?  And how was Cookie's cookout anyway?  We'll probably never get answers, but at least we're finally done with the damn ASA awards, which lasted longer than the 2016 presidential primary!

Post Script: That finale SUCKED! 

"No baby, not today."

This photo was a LONG time coming.  As a gay man, I've seen my fair share of Broadway shows, and while Wicked is my favorite I've always loved Buffalo native/hometown hero Michael Bennett's A Chorus Line and Dreamgirls.  I've got both soundtracks on my iPod, know all the words to every song, and have lipsynched to 'One Night Only' in front of the bedroom mirror on more than one occasion.  I've been lucky enough to meet original Dreamgirls Sheryl Lee Ralph and Jennifer Holliday, and although my friend's boyfriend was in a production of The Hot Mikado with Loretta Devine in Washington, DC twenty years ago I was too naive at the time to work that connection for an introduction.  Well times have changed, and yesterday I finally met the fabulous Ms. Devine!

And today she politely declined to sign a print of this photo, letting me down with a "No baby, not today" as she arrived for a promotional appearance.  One day only too I guess.

6 to 5

Rhinestone encrusted non-biodegradable national treasure Dolly Parton is bringing her charisma and glamour on tour this summer, and the wig glue must have seeped into her head because this crazy bitch is charging $2,085 for a meet and greet.  $2,085!  For $2,085 I should be able to try on her wigs and wardrobe and motorboat those magnificent chichis, but since I'm not taking out a second mortgage on my parents' home you won't be seeing a photo with Dolly anytime soon.  I'll just have to settle for the other 2/3 of the 9 to 5 cast, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, in town last week to promote season two of Grace and Frankie, which is not really settling at all.

The Reason Why We Have Mother's Day

Mother's Day is a modern celebration honoring one's mother, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society, so let's all take a moment to honor the cocaine industry's mother of the year, the brave and fearless single mother struggling to pimp out her daughter Lindsay so she can make the mortgage payments on her Long Island mansion, professional life mess Dina Lohan.  Hey gurl, heeyyy!

Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

Back in the spotlight with the success of How To Get Away With Murder The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, Marcia Clark has been making the talk show rounds lately, and was at the Today Show this morning to promote her new book Blood Defense.  I think I inadvertently offended her this morning when, just after this photo was taken and my friend dropped my camera on the marble floor Marcia said "You should sue if it's broken" and I responded "Do you know a good lawyer?"  It was hard walking away with one foot in my mouth.