6 to 5

Rhinestone encrusted non-biodegradable national treasure Dolly Parton is bringing her charisma and glamour on tour this summer, and the wig glue must have seeped into her head because this crazy bitch is charging $2,085 for a meet and greet.  $2,085!  For $2,085 I should be able to try on her wigs and wardrobe and motorboat those magnificent chichis, but since I'm not taking out a second mortgage on my parents' home you won't be seeing a photo with Dolly anytime soon.  I'll just have to settle for the other 2/3 of the 9 to 5 cast, Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, in town last week to promote season two of Grace and Frankie, which is not really settling at all.