You Go Glen Coco!

Last week I was on a red carpet for the NYC premiere of Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie that was so sad I'd swear it was a slip'n'slide covered in red food coloring.  There were rumors Kate Moss and Baby Spice Emma Bunton would appear, but aside from Patsy and Eddie, that awful Chris Colfer and a bunch of no-name drag queens, the carpet was pretty tragic.  So when the star of one of Hollywood's greatest, gayest classics approached, I wasn't "too gay to function" and called him over because - DUH- why wouldn't you take a picture with Damian from Mean Girls?  Now if only I could meet math enthusiast/badass MC Kevin Gnapoor.

Be My Little Baby

Few artists in history have define an entire era in pop music the way Ronnie Spector embodies the heart, soul, and passion of female rock and roll in the 1960s.  You might know her as the leader of The Ronnettes, the girl group that gave us Be My Baby and Baby, I Love You.  You might know her from that Eddie Money video from the '80s where he sings, "Just like-a Ronnie said." Or maybe you know her as the ex wife of that crazy guy with the bad wigs who killed a chick he picked up at the House of Blues a few years back.  Either way, the woman who once boasted Cher as her backup singer and the Rolling Stones her opening act is an icon: of music, of survival, of longevity.  Beehive, eyeliner and all.

Le Freak, c'est Chic!

There is nothing I can say about Nile Rodgers that hasn't already been heard by billions of people, in millions of cities, via thousands of radio airwaves, in hundreds of countries.  He's responsible for some of the greatest music ever released, producing classics from Donna Summer, Diana Ross, and Grace Jones, Kylie, Bowie, Gaga and Daft Punk, as well as timeless dance hits Le Freak, I Want Your Love and Good Times with his own badass, funked out disco band Chic.  He's been honored by the Grammys, the Songwriter's Hall of Fame and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, played alongside Madonna at Live Aid, is currently on tour with Duran Duran and is presenting the FOLD (Freak Out, Let's Dance) Festival in Forest Hills in October. My iPod would be half empty without this man's profound musical genius, and on top of that he's a really nice guy.

Oh Those Summer Nights!

Summertime Sunday nights used to mean one thing: hoping to see as much vampire, wolf and fairy dick as possible on True Blood.  But after the Billith mess and with nobody left to slobber over Sookeh's fairy pussy HBO execs decided to pull the plug on that vampire fever dream and shit got cancelled.  That means no more naked Joe Manganiello, and a whole bunch of hos scrambling for other work.  Like Deborah Ann Woll, who jumped right into Daredevil, a show I've never seen because there's no naked Joe Manganiello

and Carrie Preston, who's show Crowded has already been cancelled because there was no naked Joe Manganiello to lure viewers.

Sweetie Darling!

I'm not sure where, but I may have to turn in my gay card after I tell you this: I wasn't a fan of Absolutely Fabulous when it first came out almost 25 years ago.  Not that I didn't like it, I just didn't get into it in much the same way I never got into Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead, but gayer.  Much, much gayer.  So I'm not really sure why I'm so excited for the Absolutely Fabulous movie, which opens Friday, but I am.  Maybe it's because I'm gayer than I was 25 years ago.  Much, much gayer.

Mamma Mia!

Anything can happen at the Hollywood Show, but it's not every day that you run into a screen legend in the lobby of a midlevel hotel out by the airport, so when the silver screen goddess stepped out of the elevator I was about to get into and strolled through the lobby of the Westin Los Angeles Airport Hotel I did a double take and quickly turned around to follow her for a better look.  Every head turned as she asked the concierge a question and was directed up the escalator to a mezzanine off the lobby.  Thinking, "Maybe she's here to see Martin Landau", who was attending the show, I quickly followed, and found myself waiting outside the ladies room (What?  Movie stars have to pee too!) for Sophia Loren.  Before I could even ask her companion "Is that..." I was face to face with the beauty herself.  And that's when she introduced herself as Vera, a Sophia Loren lookalike.


So we're going to play a little game of who reads this shit and who just looks at the pictures and see how many people comment on how beautiful 'Sophia' looks when I post this picture on Facebook.  Dummies.

This Is What Happened to Baby Jane

Next to In-N-Out, my favorite thing about Los Angeles is Angelyne, the electo shock therapy Barbie whose billboards made the city a more glamorous place in the early 80's.  She's a magnificent piece of the city's history, and its said that seeing her driving around LA brings people luck.  My eyes never gazed upon her exquisite beauty when I lived there, but I was able to meet the Pink Queen of Hollywood while I was there last week, and it was every level of crazy you'd expect, from the phone call from her 'fan club president' informing me she was "in a meeting and running about 15 minutes late" (from a home for the less glamorous, where she taught them how to burn eyeballs with their exquisiteness by wearing Dollar Tree wedges, stunning dresses bought at a Contempo Casuals going-out-of-business sale in 2001 and feathers stolen from a flamingo?) to her honking the horn as she pulled up beside me looking like a float from last year's parade that got rained on while parked out in the back alley to the hard sell she gave trying to sell me merchandise out of the trunk of her hot pink corvette near the Coffee Bean on Sunset.  I feel like the richest man alive after inhaling this luxurious opulence, and it really doesn't get more glamorous than this.  

Cheers Then!

Though she's two time Tony award winning Broadway royalty and can currently be seen as Nadine Tolliver on Madam Secretary, Bebe Neuwirth is best known as intelligent ice queen Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane, wife of Frasier Crane on the classic sitcoms Cheers and Frasier. You can probably catch her in reruns on Nick at Night or on demand, but back in my day my roommates and I had to pop a cassette in the VCR when we kicked back with McDonald's during late night study breaks my senior year of college.  Who even owns a VCR these days?