This Is What Happened to Baby Jane

Next to In-N-Out, my favorite thing about Los Angeles is Angelyne, the electo shock therapy Barbie whose billboards made the city a more glamorous place in the early 80's.  She's a magnificent piece of the city's history, and its said that seeing her driving around LA brings people luck.  My eyes never gazed upon her exquisite beauty when I lived there, but I was able to meet the Pink Queen of Hollywood while I was there last week, and it was every level of crazy you'd expect, from the phone call from her 'fan club president' informing me she was "in a meeting and running about 15 minutes late" (from a home for the less glamorous, where she taught them how to burn eyeballs with their exquisiteness by wearing Dollar Tree wedges, stunning dresses bought at a Contempo Casuals going-out-of-business sale in 2001 and feathers stolen from a flamingo?) to her honking the horn as she pulled up beside me looking like a float from last year's parade that got rained on while parked out in the back alley to the hard sell she gave trying to sell me merchandise out of the trunk of her hot pink corvette near the Coffee Bean on Sunset.  I feel like the richest man alive after inhaling this luxurious opulence, and it really doesn't get more glamorous than this.