Who Shot John Ross? Thank You!

I wanted to post this entry earlier, but I'm still recovering from the first five minutes of last night's Dallas season three premiere.  Shit was on fire right out of the gate, with the camera lingering over the luscious physique of a sleeping John Ross Ewing like a lover savoring every moment of the afterglow after the most passionate night of their life!  That chiseled chest!  Those washboard abs!  That morning wood!  Wait, WHAT?  Yes kids, John Ross had a bulge in his briefs that would make his daddy, Calvin Klein and the state of Texas proud and had me reaching for the remote and a glass of water to cool myself down!  That bulge was so beautiful it should have been in the opening credits!  Hell, it should get it's own spinoff: Phallus!  I'd like to thank Josh Henderson for being a method actor during that scene and for being a cool dude in general, and I'd like to thank the network for airing that episode after I met him, because I don't think I'd be as calm in the picture if I'd seen that scene first!