Catching up with Marky Mark and Tom Sizemore

Marky Mark was on Good Morning America Monday to promote Pain and Gain, the steaming pile of neon shit he's starring in with The Rock.  Arriving well after 8AM, thanks to an interview with Howard Stern (all hail the king), he headed straight into the studio, promising to sign autographs on the way out.  Between the mouth breathing and the grunting, I'm not sure what the interview was about, but it made me long for the days of his CK underwear ad so I could look at him and that third nipple without having to hear him speak.  I know he's all Oscar-nominated thespian now and wants to forget those days, but that shit was his best work and I'm not letting go!  I defy you to sit through The Happening and not agree with me...ninety minutes of pure shit where NOTHING HAPPENED!  It would have been fine if he was shirtless the whole movie, but nooooo!  True to his word, he signed a couple autographs on the way out before ducking into the waiting SUV.  Word to your mutha dude.

Yesterday I was walking to work just as Tom Sizemore was finishing HIS interview with Howard Stern, and I managed to catch him leaving Sirius studios.  Tom was a major fuckup, turning a promising acting career with roles in Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down into a string of drug arrests, multiple stays in rehab, and assault and battery charges from ex girlfriend Heidi Fleiss, who I'm dying to meet.  On my first visit to Los Angeles, I Google searched Heidi's address and made a point of driving past her home, which was so far up in the hills just past the Beverly Hills Hotel that the road turned to dirt before I got there and I had to park and walk the last little bit, only to find a mailbox and a gated winding driveway up another hill.  I don't know what I was thinking.  The two ex-lovers were combustible on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, but Tom managed to clean up and is now celebrating four years of sobriety with a new book, which is what he was promoting at Sirius.  He seemed pleasant enough, puffing a cigarette and signing autographs for one of the grapherazzi stalking the building.