I can't spell or pronounce her name, but it's the little girl from Beasts of the Southern Wild

Marie's text on Friday read 'GMA I'm sure u don't care but the little black girl  up for acamdy is here.'  I saw the trailer for the movie 'Beasts of the Southern Wild' on demand, but it didn't look the least bit  interesting, so I have no idea what this girl is nominated for, but she's the youngest Academy Award nominee ever and she brings the cutest little puppy purses on the red carpet so I figured WTF, let me try to get a picture.

When I arrived, Marie told me she was already inside, and walked in with her head down and her jacket collar high around her head.  A diva already?  OH LAWD!  Trying to get a peek through the window was impossible, thanks to another fashion segment (when in doubt, do a fashion segment) and some trash to treasure segment with Vanilla Ice.  (I know, right?)  Way too many people in the way to get a good shot of this nine year old kid, so I headed back to the barricades, which were VERY crowded.  I don't get it.  She's nine.  When I was nine years old I was climbing trees and playing spotlight tag with my brother and the kids in the neighborhood, not being interviewed on Good Morning America.  We were riding our bikes to 3D to buy Star Wars trading cards and jumping off the roof of Chris Sausaman's fort with umbrellas, trying to fly like Mary Poppins (I know), not making movies.  I got lots of fan mail for playing Templeton the rat in our third grade production of Charlotte's Web, bringing the house down with my rousing version of the Sesame Street classic 'I Love Trash' (an eerie predictor of my four years in Los Angeles if ever there was one) but I was never nominated for an Oscar.  I blame my parents for not pushing me harder when I was nine.

So the door finally opens and this tiny little girl comes out and the flashbulbs go off and people are calling out to her and it's probably very overwhelming for a nine year old.  But then she walked right over to the barricade across from me and signed a few autographs, which seemed to take forever because her name is Quvenzhané Wallis and I'm sure nobody told her to just make a Q and a squiggle instead of carefully writing out each letter in that way that nine year olds and Pee-Wee Herman do before they learn how to write in cursive.  She must have signed three or four before turning to our side of the barricades and signing a few more.  I wish her luck on Sunday but I seriously think Jessica Chastain is going to take the Oscar.

Catching up with Madeleine, Josh, Jackie, Bruce and Anthony

Today's wrap up is brought to you by the barbecue seasoned chicken that is in my oven right now, which means it will be brief, because when that buzzer goes off so I do.  This boy is HUNGRY!

Picture it.  Friday February 8th.  Good Morning America.  The window is filled with tourists, all gawking because they've never seen real live television before.  You can hear the accents, foreign, southern and otherwise, and they are all different dialects of stupid.  Everybody oohs and ahhs at Bethenny Frankel during her cooking segment (I've shot her before, not gonna waste my time) and Kylie and Kendall Jenner (I took a couple pictures of them before asking myself 'what the fuck  are you doing?' and realizing they are almost famous (Almost Famous...such a cute movie) because their sister is a pretty girl with a big ass and a sex tape and their mother is a pimp) and then deleted them.   The only reason I was there is to see Madeleine Stowe, who as Victoria Grayson on 'Revenge' (Sunday at 9 on ABC), is the 2012 version of Alexis Colby.  And she did not disappoint.

Tuesday, February 12th, The Today Show - I was there to see Josh Duhamel and Jackie Collins, both of whom I've met before.  Josh and I used to share the same trainer, Nathan, back in Los Angeles, and he'd always be coming as I was going.  We'd chit chat in the locker room (no, I never saw him naked.  Get your mind out of the gutter.) and he's a really down to earth guy.  I met Jackie at a booksigning in Los Angeles, and she is as fabulous as her sister Joan.  When I arrived there were a ton (AND I MEAN TON) of paparazzi and grapherazzi, all there for Sports Illustrated cover model Kate Upton, who I met at Heidi Klum's Halloween party back in 2011.  She is a lovely girl, but apparently was in no mood to pose or sign on the way in, so the paparazzi were circling like rabid dogs and my swimsuit issue stayed in my bag.  I missed everyone coming in, so when Josh came out and the photogs had no Kate pics they pounced.  Fuckers.  A couple swarmed the SUV, blocking each other to get the shots, and one guy even fell on the curb.  I laughed.

Same thing happened when Jackie left.  She was pleasant and posed for photos, but everyone was really there for Kate and just taking pictures to meet their agency's quota.

Wednesday, February 13th, Good Morning America.  Nobody was advertised on the GMA website, so when Marie texted to tell me that Bruce Willis and Anthony Edwards were scheduled I was on my way.  Lots of grapherazzi and photographers, but I squeezed my way up next to Marie.  Bruce exited first, and was really cool, although he looks a lot like Homer Simpson these days.  Rick kept asking if he could get a Polaroid, and I think he was able to snap a shot, but didn't have enough time to get it signed before Bruce walked away.  Same thing with Anthony Edwards, although I don't think Rick even got a clear shot before somebody asked about Anthony's Valentine's Day plans (as if it matters) and he looked away.

Then I got a bagel and went to work.

I survived Naomi Campbell

You have not made it as a paparazzi until you've been maimed, whipped, shanked or smacked by Naomi Campbell.  Naomi can chop off a housekeeper's head from fifty yards away by throwing her ninja star blackberry.  She can rip the hide off the last living snow leopard and wear it to a PETA event and nobody would throw a side eye at her.  Her freak outs are epic, so I was taking my life in my hands hoping to catch a glimpse of the supermodel maniac goddess at the Today Show this morning.

The Today Show puts out their press release two weeks in advance, giving me plenty of time to prepare for this morning, researching books and magazines for the perfect photo to get autographed, hoping to find another copy of her CD, which I purchased in Paris back in 1995 but managed to lose in one of my many moves back and forth across the planet.  Something, anything that Naomi might, if all the planets aligned, be gracious enough to sign.   My boyfriend had the issue of Playboy she appeared in, but the thought of her reaction if I asked her to sign that was a little scarier than I was prepared for, so I scoured eBay and found a mint condition 1997 American Photo magazine with a stunning Herb Ritts cover shot of her in a retro leopard swimsuit, matching gloves, and a black beret, perched on a tiger print pillow.  Perfection!  I also had a glossy photo of the cover shot in case it didn't arrive in time.

Marie agreed to meet me at Rockefeller Center, and she would get the autograph and I would snap pictures, but when I woke up this morning it was raining which is always the case when it's someone I'm really wanting to get.  Twice with Dolly Parton, and now with Naomi.  It's close to impossible to hold the umbrella, stay dry, and hold the camera steady to get a clear shot of a moving target, so fuck my life this was not going to be easy.  But as I've made it clear to some friends before, do not underestimate me.

I arrived around 7:10, and there was an SUV parked outside the 48th street entrance, but no paparazzi or grapherazzi staking the door out.  Hmm....who's car is this?  Danny came around the corner from the plaza, and was his usual useless self, telling me it was her, even though he didn't know which her I was even there for.  (Julianne Hough was also on the show today, but who cares, right?)  Marie showed up a few minutes later, just as 'her' was exiting the building.  And by 'her' I mean Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the Archbishop of New York, who was interviewed about the pope's resignation.  Needless to say, I didn't take any pictures of 'her.' 

No more than 15 minutes later, an SUV pulled up and a large black man stepped from the passenger side around the back to open an umbrella and the back car door, as Naomi emerged in a whiff of fur, sunglasses and stilettos, giving fierce for days to the five of us waiting.  Miss Thing does not disappoint, and I snapped away non stop as she stepped right toward and then past me, the ultimate Glamazon, Marie in step with her asking for the autograph.  I didn't think she'd sign and I don't think Marie thought so either, but damned if Naomi Campbell didn't sign the glossy photo just as she entered the building! 

As we waited in the rain, another SUV pulled up and deposited Julianne Hough.  I took a picture because she was there, but the hair and outfit were tragic for such a pretty girl. 

Phil, the cranky security guard came out and asked that we all get off the property and stay on the sidewalk or he'd catch hell from the building staff.  He was actually pretty cool, and for the first time ever told us he didn't care if we were there or not, but that the building people were giving him shit for it.  He asked who we were waiting for, and when someone said 'Naomi Campbell' he told us we'd be waiting awhile and then actually told me what time her segment was.  He has NEVER, I repeat NEVER, done that before, and for the first time I saw another side of him.  So Phil, I apologize for all the rotten things I've thought about you over the last year or so.  You're okay in my book.  Armed with that information, it was off to the window, figuring why hang around on the sidewalk when I could see the segment and at least be entertained while I waited.

After a segment about an NFL cheerleader fighting Facebook cyberbullying and a Matt Lauer fatherhood PSA,  Julianne was brought out and led to the stools in the window, her back to the few of us outside in the rain.  The reflective skrim that is normally on the window wasn't there today, perhaps because of the rain, so there was a clear shot of anyone inside the studio, as long as you could focus through the raindrops on the window.  And that's when they brought Naomi out.  STUNNING in a white blouse, black pants that went on for days, and the highest heels imaginable, she sat in the chair to the front corner of the studio.  RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!  FACING ME!  Holy shit!  I snapped away as if my life depended on it, juggling the camera, my umbrella, my bag, my gloves and my patience until an assistant handed her a cellphone and I ran like hell.  Not really; they moved her to the Julianne stool once the segment was over, and her back was to me.  

I headed around the corner, hoping to catch a few shots of her through the 49th street window, and that's where I ran into Miguel.  Ugh.  Too many raindrops and too much talking, I headed back to the 48th street entrance, hoping to catch Naomi on the way out.  I'm not sure what got into me, but rather than take photos I decided to try and get the American Photo magazine signed. 

There were a lot more photographers when I got to the 48th street entrance, so this was not going to be cute.  I knew she'd never stop and let them take photos, so I had to be in the front, pen ready, when she rounded the corner and headed down the corridor to the door.  Ten minutes or so later, Phil came around the corner, followed by the big bodyguard, a small entourage, and somewhere in the mix, Naomi.  Phil stepped out first, asking everyone to clear a path and please make room, and moments later, Naomi stepped out, looking just as stunning on the way out as she did on the way in.  I heard myself asking 'Naomi, can I have your autograph?', reaching out to her with the magazine and pen.  I took a couple steps toward her, asking 'please?' (I'm sure I sounded pathetic, but who cares?  She'll never see me again and if she does I'm sure she won't remember and I won't remind her).  Naomi could've stunned us with her bitch glare and then cackled as our brains seeped out of our ear holes while she beat us over the head, but she reached for my pen and signed the American Photo magazine! 

What is going on Naomi?  Are you trying to tell us your super Blackberry-beating power is weakening?  Say it ain't so.  I don't even know what world we're living in anymore when Naomi Campbell signs autographs for me going in AND out!  When I look at these pictures, I don't hear music.  I hear the creaky sound of the Four Horsemen's stable door slowly opening.....

Toni Braxton, you're making me high!

Torch singers, those women prepared to go onstage, rip open their chest and show us their broken heart, have always held a special place in gay culture.  Barbra, Liza, Madonna, Cher....we put our divas on pedestals, their every gesture exaggerated by drag queens worldwide.  So imagine my excitement when I learned that Toni Braxton was going to be on Good Morning America AND the Today Show this morning.

Spanish Guitar is my favorite Toni Braxton song; every time I hear it I'm taken back to the dance floor of a small club in New Orleans, my friend Jeff Wilson and I gagging the first time we ever heard the remix!  Un-break My Heart!  Love Shoulda Brought You Home!  Another Sad Love Song!  Oh yes girl, I get you!

I arrived just before 8, and just before Toni.  Not too many people at the barricades, but it didn't matter, because when she arrived she moved just quickly enough for me to miss the shot.  Off to the window, and thankfully not many people watching at the window.  Unfortunately, there were a ton of jappy Carrie Bradshaw wannabe's in the studio, taking pictures of each other with their iPhones waiting for a fashion segment with that dreadful Rachael Zoe.  Seriously, why are we still paying attention to her?  And why are all these girls getting in my way?  Ain't nobody got time for that!  Once the segment was over and the plastics moved, Toni was seated in the chair across the studio, which gave me a clear shot of her left side, because unfortunately she never turned to the window throughout the whole interview.  :(

So it was back to the barricade, where I didn't have to wait long before she came out, stopping to sign a few autographs and pose for a few pictures, all the while excusing herself because she was sick and didn't want to give it to anyone.  Awww!  Sadly, I got a lot of really clear pictures of the right side of her head, but damned if I could get a clear shot of her face!

So after going to work for an hour, then taking an early lunch, I headed over to the Today Show to catch her leaving the fourth hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda.  And she did not disappoint, taking time to sign autographs, pose for photos and give me a full on smile!  Even feeling sick, she was fabulous!  I went back to work and listened to the Spanish Guitar remix for old times sake.

Elevator music for an elevator music day

Not much to write about yesterday.....Josh Groban making funny faces to the crowd through the window, and Cheryl Hines from Suburgatory (a show I've never seen) and who Marie thought was named Shirley Hines for whatever reason were at GMA.  Cheryl was very nice leaving the studio, signing autographs and posing for pictures.  She dates a Kennedy, so there was lots of security. 

I didn't stick around for Josh to leave, but was able to snap a few shots of him through the window while he was making faces, or doing vocal exercises or whatever the hell he was doing.  He sounded great though, and reminded me of my Long Beach roommates when I first moved to California.  They were huge fans of his and would play 'You Raise Me Up' ad nauseum, as if it was the only song on the planet.  I've heard that song at least 20 million times, so my brain has completely shut it off.  I don't even know how it goes anymore.  So this one's for you Richard and Trevor.

Katharine McPhee is Smashing

I arrived too late to catch her going in, and was distracted by Miguel when she came out, so it's a good thing Katharine McPhee came back for the 10:00 hour of the Today Show this morning.  With crews setting up a Michael J. Fox TV shoot, it was lots of confusion at the 48th street entrance this morning.  Nobody was certain which way she came in, but everyone rushed to the 49th street window when she went on, hoping to snap a few shots through the reflective skrim.  When the segment ended, everyone headed to Sirius, hoping to catch Jewel leaving the Howard Stern show, but I went back toward 48th street, determined to wait Kat out.

And that's when Miguel caught up with me, asking where everyone was going (Sirius) and where Sirius is (48th and 6th), and how do you get there (you walk to the end of the block) and do I want to walk over (no), and out of the corner of my eye I could see Katharine getting into her car behind us, but it was too late to catch  her.  There were a couple ladies waiting at the entrance with flowers, so I let them  know they'd just missed her, and when I turned to point out the side exit the car was still there.  Thank you NY traffic!  The girls raced to the car, but were afraid to get her  attention.  When they finally tapped the window (at my suggestion) Katharine rolled it down and graciously accepted their flowers.  Aww....how sweet!  Unfortunately, they were in my way so I couldn't get a shot.

My boyfriend has styled Katharine.  His friend Joanne has worked with her a few times as well.  But have I met her?  No!  So I was determined to catch her in the 10AM hour.  I arrived just as her segment was ending, and I could see her car waiting at the side entrance, just as it was before, so I knew this would be a repeat of earlier, only this time I'd be ready.  The paparazzi were huddled by the car too, and Joe was ready to pounce for an autograph or six.  The two ladies with the flowers were back too, only this time with a gift bag.  Stalker much?

Katharine emerged, head down, to flashbulbs everywhere.  Joe stepped in and got his autographs, which gave us extra time to snap a few shots before she got in the car.  And then the ladies tapped window (good girls...I taught you well) and again Katharine rolled the window down.  'Can we get a picture?' they asked, and of course she said yes.  Thankfully they got the hell out of  the way this time and I was able to snap a few more.

Jeremy Irons, Reba McEntire and crashing Smash

What a disappointment Jeremy Irons was today.  He's an  actor I've admired since his portrayal of Claus von Bulow in Reversal of Fortune way back in the early 90s, and I was excited that he was going to be live on Good Morning America this morning.  Of course I arrived minutes after he did, and Marie told me he wasn't too pleasant going inside.  Heading over to the window, there were a ton of people inside (again) for an Oscars trivia segment with Reba McEntire.  I can't.  Really, I can't.  Last week a 47 layer dip segment and now this?  Do you really wanna sabotage your number one rankings GMA?

After the segment Reba took a seat across from the windows, but the producers and stage hands were tearing down the trivia set and I couldn't get a clean shot.  Jeremy Irons came out next, and was seated in the window, which meant I'd be getting a side shot through the window if I could navigate around the TV screen they always use as a backdrop in the window.  Twisting and turning like a Cirque du Soleil performer, I managed to snap a few shots, although the man never smiled once throughout the entire interview and couldn't even be bothered to take off his ski jacket.  Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!

After the segment it was off to the barricades, where I was surprised to see Reba's SUV still waiting.  Lucky me, there weren't too many paparazzi either, and I was able to snap a shot of her leaving.  I'm sure she would have signed if there were grapherazzi, but the blue hairs on the other side of the barricades weren't aggressive enough to get her to stop.

No more than a minute after she left, out came Jeremy, bolting to his car without even looking up.  Great actor, but bad attitude this morning.

You'd think that would be the end of the story, but no....on my lunch hour, thanks to a tip from Marie, who is getting quite good at this herself, I stumbled upon a scene from Smash being filmed in Times Square.  Poor Megan Hilty and Leslie Odom Jr. looked like they were freezing to death waiting to get this scene wrapped.  Leslie took a few photos with fans in between takes, but Megan stayed to herself.

I'm excited for this show to come back tomorrow night!

Keyser Söze and The Princess Bride

Woke up ridiculously early this morning for some reason, and couldn't fall back to sleep, so it was a very early 7:15 when I arrived at Rockefeller Center for Robin Wright and Kevin Spacey on the Today Show.  Marie was there when I got there, and Tony, Danny, Luis and Rick slowly trickled in while we waited in the cold.  After what seemed like forever, but really wasn't, Robin Wright arrived, wrapped in a heavy coat, hat and sunglasses.  I've met Robin once in Los Angeles, and she was incredibly nice, signing and posing for a picture with me.  Another time, in NY, she couldn't leave fast enough, so today was really a crap shoot.  But she was pleasant enough going in, stopping to sign a few autographs.  Dodging a tree and Marie, I tried to get a clear shot, but no luck.  She promised Rick a polaroid on the way out, so we decided to wait her out.


Listening to Tony babble on again about people I don't know or care about, I started to get restless waiting for Kevin Spacey to arrive.  Thankfully, Tony knew the driver, so we were pretty sure he wasn't going through the garage and I tried to tune the babbling out.  Note: idle chit chat to pass the time is one thing, but telling endless stories about people that nobody knows is annoying.  Don't do it.  We don't care.  Danny got distracted by a couple golden retrievers dressed in Super Bowl jerseys and followed them around the corner.  And that's where he was when Kevin Spacey finally arrived.

My toes were numb, my legs were tired, but a rush of adrenaline went through me as Kevin stepped out of the SUV.  I've never been a huge fan, but he was good in 'American Beauty' and his new project 'House of Cards' looks amazing.  Even though he was running late, he signed a few autographs before heading inside, promising to sign more on the way out.  I've heard he's a prickly personality, so this was a nice surprise.

Absolutely freezing, we waited as a publicist came out to collect another guest.  Nobody else was scheduled and she wouldn't tell us who she was waiting for, so we had no idea who would step out when the car arrived.  And I had no idea who DID step out until someone said 'Tate Donovan'.  I've heard the name before, and I know he dated Jennifer Aniston back in the early days of 'Friends' but I'm not familiar with anything he's done and I wouldn't have thought he was famous if I was there alone.  He posed for pictures and signed autographs for the unprepared grapherazzi, who were forced to use blank pages, before heading inside.

And then we waited, cold turning to numb, for Kevin and Robin to emerge.  My toes were so cold I wanted to step inside and warm up, and when my teeth started chattering I knew I'd been outside too long.  But at 8:45, Kevin came back out, and true to his word, signed a few more autographs before leaving.  A few, though seemingly interminable minutes later, Robin came out.  She didn't look too thrilled, but the grapherazzi and photographers were standing in a way that it as almost impossible not to sign a picture or two.  And so she did, not really looking up too often or making much small talk.  The only time she even hinted at a smile was when I told her I'd been a fan of hers since 'Santa Barbara' and she chuckled slightly, mumbling 'oh my God.  Thank you.'  And it's true.  My mother and I used to watch that show religiously back in the late eighties, when she played Kelly Capwell, who, in self defense, pushed her ex Dylan through a window to his death, only to be institutionalized until the family's butler Pearl Bradford rescued her from the evil Dr. Rawlings.  God I miss that show.