Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!

In addition to being wildly entertaining, television can be very informative, and some shows provide a great instruction manual for navigating human relationships.  For example, half watching the Jerry Springer Show in waiting rooms, I've learned there are a lot of really fucked up people in the world.  Either that, or there are a lot of people willing to act fucked up on TV.  I've learned that women are much bigger whores today than ever before.  Apparently it's normal to have one kid and fifteen potential fathers.  I've learned that no one ever uses birth control or contraceptives.  Ever.  And that fat women ALWAYS think they're sexy.  They'll wear the tightest, smallest outfit they can find and claim all 500 pounds of them is 'voluptuous.'  I've learned that if you meet a woman on the internet and are finally meeting her in person for the first time, she is a man.  And there is no reason to calmly talk something out when you can throw a chair, pull hair or get into a fist fight to make your point.  Oh, and I've learned how to throw a chair.  Important life lessons NOT taught in school!