Fine and Dandy

With the exception of Liz Taylor, Gaga's wardrobe and all the man ass running around the Hotel Cortez, American Horror Story: Hotel has been a huge yawnfest this season.  A tedious and predictable serial killer story line, measles infected child vampires and Chloë Sevigny's Victorian cut dresses have not made for an interesting season, and I'm prepared to jump off this sinking ship if Ryan Murphy can't stop cramming guest appearances down my throat at the expense of storyline.  No wonder Jessica Lange was like "Fuck this, I'm out." 


Thankfully, we've been treated to Cheyenne Jackson's pert bubble butt cavorting in bed with the Countess

and Finn Wittrock playing two forgettable characters that don't come close to Dandy Mott's gorgeous ass but still got naked anyway.

Next season better be set in the Hollywood Spa, where two gay nymphomaniacs (Matt Bomer and Zac Efron) fuck all night until the drugs run out and they're trapped there because the Sunday morning farmer's market is right outside and the last thing they want to do is stumble out of a bathhouse tweaking while some plastic blonde in Lululemon athletic wear is buying organic kale.  The horror!