Kiss My Grits!

Road trips fucking suck.  When I was a kid my grandparents and I drove cross country to visit relatives in Albuquerque and Phoenix and the experience traumatized me.  Sure I got to see the Gateway Arch and the Grand Canyon and I got to watch the Miss Universe pageant in a motel room in Shamrock, Texas (!), but nothing prepares an eleven year old for an eighteen wheeler honking at you while you're taking a shit on the side of the road because you can't hold it in until the next rest area.  To this day I don't like eating or drinking before I get in a car.  On top of that, Alice and Flo weren't working in ANY of the roadside diners we stopped at, and that was a major letdown.  Good thing Linda Lavin is doing Broadway right now and was kind enough to take this photo.  I didn't mention my road trip.