The ONLY Time I Care About Sports Illustrated

It's that time of year again!  Fuck Valentine's Day, I'm talking about the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, which comes out next week to the excitement of white trash guys in middle America who don't have access to internet porn and still like to jerk off the old fashioned way.  I caught up with former cover babe Nina Agdal yesterday in Rockefeller Center, where we dished about a mutual friend who does the body painting and knows her intimate parts better than Adam Levine, Leonardo DiCaprio, Max George or any of the other guys who have dumped her recently, and then she struck a Cindy Lou Who bitch face pose because posing with clothes ON is confusing for her.