Gaga. Ha ha ha!

The pin was officially OUT of the freak-out this morning as Lady Gaga made her way to Times Square for an appearance on Good Morning America.  The news first broke last Tuesday, and little monsters were offering craigslist blowjobs and selling their baby sisters on the black market to scrape up bus fare to New York to sleep outside her hotel (The London, I'm told) hoping to catch a glimpse of her ever since, because stalker much?  Time Square resembled the Island of Misfit Toys if it was in Jerry Sandusky's basement when I arrived, with freaks of every shape, size and smell squealing in anticipation of Gaga's arrival in a scene gayer than a Care Bear's butt full of rainbows.

But...bitch got lazy, arriving in a vintage Cadillac instead of an egg or a spaceship or a volcano, and looked normalish in things that fell under the category of clothes instead of a toga made of silicone anuses or something resembling a science fair project, and the little monsters went apeshit, sobbing and carrying on like they just saw Jesus in a piece of toast.  Gaga sucked it all in like it was her lifeblood, signing a few autographs before heading into the studio for the big reveal.

 

I'm not disappointed by the video because I wasn't expecting much in the first place, and that's exactly what Gaga delivered.  Nothing.  Or everything.  If you threw the mattress scene from Black Swan, the videos for Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" and Shakespear's Sisters "Stay", the House of Xtravaganza circa 1990, Tammy Faye Baker and a John Galliano wet dream in a blender and left the lid off, this video is what would stick to the wall.  Seriously, we've seen it all before.  And with lyrics like 'I live for the applause-plause-plause-rah-rah-papa-paparazzi-ale-ale-alejandro-roma-ooh-la-la-pa-pa-pa-pokerface-juda-juda-a-as' we've heard it all before too.  The best part of the morning was the queen in the black g-string and lucite heels chasing Gaga's SUV down 44th street during rush hour when she left.

Fast forward to lunchtime, and Gaga is at Sirius because the publicity tour for the new album is in high gear and if it's anything like Born This Way's publicity tour she's going to be everywhere everyday until the damn thing drops.   Thankfully a few less monsters, though no less chaos as security guards pushed and shoved to clear a path to the door while mother monster basked in the fame and adulation.  I think the lady in red expressed it perfectly.