That's smurfy!

Way back in the day, before lady lumps were 'fergalicious' and twerking was a thing, mischievous little blue creatures that lived in mushroom shaped houses deep in the woods would invade my TV every Saturday morning.  With an annoyingly cheerful disposition that was probably the result of hallucinogens in the mushrooms, everything was 'smurfy.'  Smurfy this.  Smurfy that.  Smurfy, smurfy, smurfy until I wanted to scream 'What the fuck is smurfy?' at the television, except my mom would have washed my mouth out with soap and sent me to my room as punishment, back when being sent to your room was actually punishment.  The marketing machine cranked into high gear and The Smurfs were everywhere.  Lunchboxes, figurines, comics, breakfast cereals, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  You name it, they were there.  I remember my cousin Andrea and I listening to the Smurfs record over and over on her Fisher Price record player, and can still remember the words to The Smurfs All-Star Show (The Smurfs all star show, it's really the greatest, you're gonna love it so....and when the night is over, and when it's time to go, you always will remember...the Smurfs all star show), which just goes to show you that all the drugs I did when I lived in LA were shitty, and I want my money back!

Fast forward to 2013 and The Smurfs are still at it, but this time it's a big screen adventure starring Hank Azaria, Jayma Mays and the fabulous Christina Ricci (whose best work will always be The Opposite of Sex as far as I'm concerned).  Hank was at the NY movie premiere, Jayma and Christina promoted the film on Good Morning America, and you can always find a pedophile in a Smurf costume in Times Square.