Random Hookups With Men

Lace up those sneakers and load up on the carbs (gasp!) cause we've got a marathon to run today kids!  There will be no rest stops and no water breaks, so run at your own pace but please try to keep up.

First up, Shaquille O'Neal was at Good Morning America on July 10th to promote his new line of flavored cream sodas.  "What's that?" you say.  "Cream sodas?"  Well, in a career that's gone from NBA superstar to aspiring rapper to failed actor (Kazaam anyone?) to a secret career catching cyber predators by impersonating a 12-year-old girl named Tanya, why not cream soda?  It tasted like shit though.

 Speaking of shit, Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges were at Good Morning America on July 18th to promote their steaming pile of shit R.I.P.D., which is pretty much the state of Ryan's career if he keeps making bombs like this one.  Dressed like a gold digging boy toy who goes straight for pay, he dutifully obeyed his handler's instructions to sign a few autographs instead of being a dick like he usually is.  Bridges was all class, signing and posing for photos with fans, because that's old school Hollywood for you.

Then there's Hugh Jackman, who joined the Good Morning America ho stroll July 24th to promote The Wolverine, except instead of half naked, sweaty, roided out, action film, run into a gym and throw your pubes at him Hugh Jackman it was suit and tie, facial hair, Jean Valjean, serious actor Hugh Jackman that showed up in Times Square, and nobody throws pubes at that.

Andrew Dice Clay was also at Good Morning America that day to promote his role in the new Woody Allen film Blue Jasmine, because apparently anyone can be in a Woody Allen film these days.  I guess I should have listened to my mom's advice about joining drama club when I was in high school and maybe I could be in a Woody Allen film instead of limiting my acting career to a scene-stealing turn as Templeton the Rat in a third grade production of Charlotte's Web and an extra in a Miami Vice scene that was cut from the movie.  Fuck you for taking my role Dice!  Go back to 1989 when you were relevant!